Why She Loves Me

As a side note: Always cook breakfast in only your underwear and an apron. This way if she wakes up and finds you, you look sexy.

It is now time for me to emphasize the importance of slow cooking our bacon. This is where we will start because this could make-or-break our meal. The lower the heat, the better the bacon. Using a "slow cook' method" may take longer to prepare but the benefits are well worth it. A pan full should take approximately 25min. This will give you bacon that is crisp to bite into, yet soft and chewy once you have. Think bacon steak strips. Using low heat will also keep the bacon from shrivelling up, so it won't look like your little buddy after a cold shower.

Since the bacon takes a moment, let's utilize our time and prep our eggs while we wait. Break the desired number of eggs in a bowl and beat until thoroughly blended.

Congratulations, you prepped the eggs! Pat yourself on the back.

Once the bacon has finished, remove it from the pan and place it on top of a paper towel on a plate. This will absorb some of the grease and help crisp the bacon.

Place a pad of butter (about half a tablespoon) in a separate pan and use medium heat to melt it. Once the butter has melted, pick up the pan and roll the melted butter around. Ensure that it coats the entire bottom of the pan. It helps keep the eggs from sticking and it looks cool.

Add those well-beaten eggs and then add about a tablespoon of cream cheese per 2 eggs.

Turn off the the heat, throw your hands in the air, and tempt the gods to try you; for you have succeeded.

Toast your bread. If I have to teach you how to toast bread, I fear for your existence. Add cream cheese or butter to the bread and with a hand seemingly guided by the great chefs of old, plate it picturesquely with your bacon and eggs.  Salt and pepper the eggs, but just a pinch. Then proceed to the bedroom with your plates and prep yourself for your reward. You my friend, are now "The Man".